I feel so much more relaxed when I consider it. So much more at ease, and much less tense and worried.
The thought of just getting out for good is becoming more and more appealing by the day. I won't have to keep up this silly argument about homosexuality any longer - secularists mostly don't care. I live in one of the most tolerant states in the nation (but of course a person still has to be careful), one that early passed anti-discrimination laws and lately a domestic partnership bill. (I think that the tolerance here is due to the huge immigrant population, and because we have the highest per capita percentage of scientists in the nation. Religion is a diverse affair here, so no one group has the upper hand. And people seem to be reasonable and veyr "live-and-let-live," across the board.) It's easy to be gay here, even in the Church.
But I don't think I want to support the Christian Church any longer. If I convert to Catholicism, I'll just be waiting for the day when I'm eventually denied Communion - which is the main reason I'd convert in the first place. The hierarchy is cracking down, and I'd likely get caught in the crackdown.
The only hope is if the American Church splits. Then, I'd be happy to stay. But I can't tolerate the fighting any longer, and the deafness of the opposition. They are tasting new power now, aligned with the "Global South," and they are in the mood for punishment. We should deny them the opportunity by simply breaking away. They can have the Communion; I don't care at all anymore.
The best move, though, would be to leave entirely. I had God before I came to the Church, and I'll have God when I leave. I will have to go through withdrawal (see "Anglo-Catholic," below, for why), but it will be better in the end.
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