Luminous, wonderful

Holy Spirit,
Giving life to all life,
Moving all creatures,
Root of all things,
Washing them clean,
Wiping out their mistakes,
Healing their wounds,
You are our true life,
Luminous, wonderful,
Awakening the heart from its ancient sleep.

~ Hildegard von Bingen (1098-1179)


(I am so grateful for these people - Hildegard and St. John of the Cross, and others. I find it incredibly difficult to deal with the intense anger and resentment that I feel right now towards the Church, and towards other Christians - while at the same time feeling unable to sever my relationship with the Christian faith. I am so completely conflicted and so confounded. And hurt, also, it has to be said.

But when I read these things I am peaceful again. There are and always have been very spiritual people in the Church, all the while it goes through these spasms and paroxysms of power and money and status. Right now, I need rest and the solace of the mystical; I need to feel close to God again - something I've been finding more and more difficult over the past year, as I've made myself crazy with fighting over "the issue."

Thanks be to God for the deep sanity of contemplation. And for a way to talk about it, via weblogs and the internet - which is also, ironically, the main source of all the pain. Well, that's life on earth, isn't it?)